


all these years. (cherik au)

by writer_in_progress



Category: X-Men, X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst?, Charles Xavier Being a Dumbass, Cherik - Freeform, Erik Has Feelings, Erik Lehnsherr Being a Drama Queen, Erik has Issues, Friends to Lovers, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, So I Think You Can Guess How It’s Gonna Go, They Are Going To Suffer, cherik au, it’s gonna be mostly charles’ pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-09-26 16:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20392675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writer_in_progress/pseuds/writer_in_progress
Summary: one day of every year of charles and erik's relationship.





	1. chapter one.

Charles didn’t like playing football. Or more specifically, he didn’t like playing it at school. It was because no matter how hard he’d tried, the older kids would always be faster and better than him.

He was just sitting on a bench, watching others play. He knew most of the boys at least by sight, but among them there was one he’d never seen before. He was tall, definitely taller than Charles, and skinny. And there was something intriguing about him.

Charles watched the boy for a while, but couldn’t figure out what it was about. Maybe he was just bored and wanted a distraction, so his mind made this strange feeling up.

“Why aren’t you playing?” he heard his sister’s voice. Raven sat next to him and started waving her legs, which annoyed him a little.

“I don’t feel like,” he said, hoping she’d go away.

When he looked back at the pitch, he noticed the new boy was gone. Charles tried looking for him and after a while he was sure that the boy had disappeared. It seemed weird, but he didn’t really put a lot of thought into it. In fact, he even forgot about the boy during his next few classes.

But then, when he was leaving school, he saw the boy again. Charles really tried not to stare at him, but couldn’t help. He was sitting alone under a tree and even though Charles knew it was a terribly bad idea and that he should look for his sister and go home, he found himself going towards the boy. Getting closer, he noticed a bruise on boy’s cheek which, he was sure, wasn’t there when he’d seen him before.

He had probably gotten into a fight with someone, thought Charles. Suddenly he felt afraid of talking to this boy, but it was too late to go away now — he’d come too close.

“Hi.” His voice was really quiet and for a while, he wasn’t sure if the boy’d heard him but then he raised his head, confused a little.

“Umm, hi?”

Charles felt really stupid. He didn’t know what to say, what to do and honestly just wanted to run away.

After a closer look, the boy seemed to be a few years older, he could be around fifteen, and definitely didn’t look like a person who’d want to be Charles’ friend or even talk to him.

“I’m Charles,” he said, really nervous now. “Are you new here?”

“Yeah, I’ve moved in few weeks ago. I’m Erik.”

It wasn’t that bad, thought Charles, who had expected the boy wouldn’t even look at him twice and probably just laugh at him.

“I could show you some places, if you wanna see the town.”

Charles didn’t want to say that. In fact, he’d never expect himself to do that. He usually wasn’t brave enough to talk to older kids and even though he was mostly liked by his peers, he didn’t really care about making new friends.

He expected Erik to laugh or be rude, but, surprisingly, the boy smiled.

“I’d love that, thanks.”

Charles smiled back, uncertainly. He stood there for few more seconds and then started turning around.

“Charles.” Erik’s voice stopped him. He looked at the boy again, ready for the worst. “Why? Why did you choose to talk to me?”

Charles hesitated. He wasn’t really sure what to say — he didn’t even understand why he’d done this. He shrugged his shoulders.

“You just looked pretty lonely.”

Erik smiled again, but this time there was something nostalgic about it.

“I was,” he said “But, umm… I guess I’ve just always been alone.”

Charles couldn’t really explain that, but he felt this sudden, weird connection with this boy. As if he’d known him at heart forever, just waiting to finally meet him in person.

“Well, you are not alone anymore, Erik. You are not alone.”


	2. chapter two.

“Where are you going?” Raven’s voice stopped Charles as he was leaving home. He’d been hoping she wouldn’t notice him, but she somehow always knew when he was going out.

He took few steps back and looked at his sister.

“You are meeting _him_ again, aren’t you? You know, mum says he has bad influence on you.”

She was really annoying, even for a thirteen years old girl. Charles took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. He was already late and didn’t need a lecture from his _younger_ sister.

“Mum is overreacting and all this is none of your business.”

Raven seemed a bit offended, but Charles didn’t really care. These days she’d get offended almost every hour, no matter how nice he’d try to be.

It had been a really long summer. Charles had been spending most of his time with Erik, leaving Raven alone at home. She didn’t really have many friends, so she was mostly just wandering around, pretty bored. Charles and Erik let her go with them sometimes and even though she would never admit that, she did enjoy the time she spent with them a lot.

Charles already knew his sister wanted to join him again and that was the only reason why she even started talking to him.

“I don’t think she’s overreacting actually, you didn’t use to be mean to me before you met him.”

Charles was tired of this conversation. He couldn’t wait to meet Erik again. During this year they’d become almost inseparable. Charles never had a friend like him and he had to admit he never felt this close to anyone, even his own sister.

“I’m not mean to you, Raven,” he said, doing his best to keep his voice calm. “I’m just spending time with my friend and you’re jealous, because you like him, too.”

The girl narrowed her eyes. “You see, this is exactly what I meant — you are being mean to me.”

“Okay, Raven, I don’t have time for that. I’ll ask Erik if you can go out with us tomorrow. But you can’t tell mum.”

“Okay.” She looked really satisfied and even smiled to him, when he was leaving. Charles couldn’t deny that he really hated her at moments.

He took his usual road and in few minutes reached the place by the lake, where he always met with Erik. His friend had been already waiting for him, sitting next to a tree and looking at water.

Sometimes Charles wondered why Erik spent so much time with him. He was two years older and seemed to be living in a completely different world. But he never dared asking about that — maybe a part of him was afraid it’d make Erik realize he didn’t really want to be friends with a younger boy.

Charles sat next to his friend. He grew up a lot during this summer, started looking older, even though he still wasn’t as tall as Erik.

“Raven wanted to come with me again,” he said, after a while. “I think she likes you.”

“Raven?” Erik knitted his brows a little. “She’s… too young.”

“Yeah, that’s what I keep telling her.” Charles looked nervously at his hands. “She’s not much younger than me, though.”

There. He said it. He didn’t really want to, but he couldn’t take it back. And surprisingly he didn’t regret it; he was even curious about the answer.

Erik looked surprised, but only for a few seconds. Then he smiled.

“Maybe I should stop being friends with you, Xavier,” he started teasing Charles.

“Who would you be friends with, then, Lehnsherr?”

“Anyone would do.”

Charles knew very well that it wasn’t true — Erik didn’t like most of people and preferred to stay away from them.

“You know I’m irreplaceable,” Charles tried to smile, but he was too nervous. No one could ever make him as nervous as Erik did.

“Yeah, you are,” said Erik, which really surprised Charles.

He was trying to come up with a good answer, but before he could think of any, Erik got up.

“Let’s go.”

He didn’t even wait to see if Charles would follow him. He knew too well, he would. And Charles didn’t even have to ask where they were going.

He knew too well he would follow Erik anywhere.


	3. chapter three.

Charles had never kissed a boy before.

Okay, well, to be honest, he hadn’t really kissed many girls either.

First, there was a girl he kissed when he was around 12. He couldn’t remember her name anymore, but it was the last day of school before summer break and she smelled kind of like bubblegum. It wasn’t really the best experience of his life.

Then, when he was 14, he was dating a girl named Suzanne for three months. They kissed many times, but her kisses were always really subtle and short. Charles didn’t enjoy them that much.

One thing he could say for sure about Erik’s kisses was that they definitely weren’t subtle. Nor short.

Charles couldn’t really explain how this happened, but he had probably drunk too much and now he was kissing Erik. Or Erik was kissing him, to be precise.

His mind were one big mess and the only thought going around his head was “I’m freaking kissing Erik Lehnsherr.”

They were alone in a dark room and Charles could hear music and voices of their friends somewhere on the lower floor of the house. In that moment everything seemed so distant to him, as if the world outside this room wasn’t real.

Erik moved his body closer to Charles’. He automatically took a step back, but then felt that his back touched the wall. He couldn’t escape anymore when Erik’s fingers found their way under his shirt. He had put his hand on Charles’ neck earlier and now he caressed it slowly.

Charles was glad they couldn’t see much in this darkness, because his hand was shaking a little, when he put it on Erik’s cheek and then moved to touch his hair. He suddenly wanted to get to know his body, get to know the feeling of touching his skin, kissing it.

This unknown desire was terrifying. Erik had been his best friend for almost two years now, they did everything together. Well, everything but _this._ And he wasn’t sure if _this_ was a good idea.

“Erik,” he said, when _his friend_ stopped kissing him for a while to catch a breath.

Charles wasn’t sure if world could go back to normal. He wasn’t sure if he wanted it to come back to normal. He couldn’t even say what _normal_ was. But he suddenly got really terrified of what was happening. He put his hands on Erik’s shoulders and pushed him away as gently as he could.

“I- I don’t think-”

He couldn’t find any words. He heard Erik’s heavy breath. His eyes were sparkling. And he was beautiful. It had never occurred to Charles before, but he really was.

“Is everything alright?” Erik seemed concerned. Charles had to look away to collect his thoughts.

He felt as if he was waking up from a dream. He couldn’t catch a proper breath.

“I don’t think we should- We shouldn’t be doing this, Erik.”

Erik took few steps back. Without the warmth of his body, Charles suddenly felt really cold.

“Why? Am I not good enough for you, Charles?”

It really hit him and surprised greatly, when he realized Erik actually looked hurt.

He tried to get closer to him, but Erik didn’t let him, taking a step back every time Charles took a step forward.

“No, I’m-” He didn’t know what he wanted to say. He didn’t know how to make things right, how to fix this situation. He didn’t really know anything at all. “I actually feel like I’m the one who’s not good enough for you, Erik. I’m sorry.”

Erik snorted and before Charles could do or say anything else, he left the room, closing the door angrily.

Charles wanted to go after him, but he was sure it would only make things worse. He sat on the floor and tried to make sense of all that had happened that night.

Without Erik in the room, it was now too cold and too dark and just too lonely. And Charles was terrified of this feeling and of the thought that this was how it would feel like if he had ever lost Erik for good.


	4. chapter four.

“She definitely hates me,” said Erik.

“No, she doesn’t. She just…” Charles tried to find words that’d make things at least a little bit better, but he couldn’t think of anything. “Alright Erik, not everyone has to love you from the moment they meet you.”

Erik smiled. “So you admit she does hate me.”

Charles sighted. For some reason he could never win an argument with Erik, doesn’t matter how trivial the thing they were arguing about was.

Erik was sitting on Charles’ bed, which was making the latter one feel a bit uncomfortable. It was one of the first days of summer and it was raining heavily, so they had decided to meet up at Xaviers’ house.

Erik had never liked this house. It was really big and everything in it seemed too easy to break. And he was more than sure that Mrs. Xavier would kill him if he’d broken anything. In fact, she’d even told him she would once.

“Yes, I do,” said Charles. “But it’s only your fault, you haven’t really been kind to her.”

Erik raised his brows, doing his best not to smile. “I’ve been nothing but kind to her,” he lied. “But maybe if you wanna keep dating her, we should stop hanging out?”

Charles knew Erik was teasing him. But it was really important to him that his best friend and his girlfriend like each other. But Moira, after meeting Erik just once, told him she didn’t want to see him ever again. Of course he hadn’t repeated that to his friend, but Erik somehow knew anyway. And, what’s more, he didn’t like Moira either.

“You could give her another chance.”

“Will _she_ give me another chance?” Erik looked as if that whole situation was really amusing.

Charles was sure convincing Moira to give Erik one more chance would be problematic. But he really hoped for a miracle that would make these two like each other.

“Yes, she will,” he said, really hoping he was right. “I’ll assure her that you’re the most agreeable person I’ve ever met.”

“If it truly is so, I feel really sorry for you, my friend.”

Charles couldn’t stop a smile. Erik smiled back, though just for a while. Then he looked down and Charles somehow knew they were thinking about the same thing. _About the same night._

They hadn’t talked about it then and it’d been between them ever since. And they both knew very well it wasn’t the right time to bring it up. Not now, when Charles had just started dating Moira, when he started to care about her.

But Erik couldn’t stop himself saying, “But don’t tell her too many details about me or she could get jealous.”

Charles’ heart suddenly started beating twice as fast as it had just a second before. He could hear it in his ears and was almost sure Erik could too. He tried to say something, but couldn’t remember how to form words into sentences.

“Erik-” That was all that left his mouth.

“I’m sorry,” said Erik immediately. He shouldn’t have let his feelings get in the way.

“I really like her,” said Charles quietly. “Don’t spoil it for me, Erik.”

Erik only shook his head, not being able to look at Charles. Instead he stared at his hands. The memory of his fingers touching Charles’ skin flashed through his mind and he suddenly stood up.

“I should go.”

“No, Erik, come on.” Charles also stood up, trying to stop his friend. “Let’s not leave it like that again. Let’s talk.”

Erik made himself look at Charles and suddenly felt overwhelming anger. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

“You made it very clear you don’t even wanna think about it.” Even he was surprised how cold his voice was. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, Erik.”

Erik knew that the anger he felt at the moment wouldn’t last long. It would probably disappear as soon as he left the room. He knew he shouldn’t let it control his words, he shouldn’t let this happen-

“Well, maybe it does, Charles.”

As he was going out of the house, he felt that the anger in his body was being replaced with regret.

But he couldn’t take anything back now.


	5. chapter five.

It was some time after midnight, when Erik finally managed to bring Charles — who had drunk too much and could barely walk — to his room. He was swearing quietly, while helping his friend to sit on a bed. Charles laid his head on the wall and closed his eyes.  
  
“Why is your room spinning around, Erik?” he asked a little unclearly.  
  
_Because I let you out of my sight for few minutes and it was enough for your stupid ass to get drunk_, thought Erik. But he said nothing.  
  
He found a bottle of water on his desk and sat next to Charles, giving it to him. “Take it, drink a little. You’ll feel better.”  
  
He was really trying not to get angry, but he knew he’d be the one who Mrs. Xavier would be mad at the next day. He’d have to take responsibility for Charles not coming back home for the night, but he knew it’d only be worse if he took him there in that condition  
  
“Try to get some sleep,” he said.  
  
But Charles didn’t lay down. He looked at Erik with little smile on his face.  
  
Erik felt weird. They hadn’t seen each other for some time, as Charles had been away for most of the summer. But it wasn’t even really about that — even before Charles’d gone away, things between them were changed. They grew apart, they weren’t spending that much time together, there were things they didn’t talk about anymore and things they didn’t do together anymore.  
  
Erik knew the reason why it had happened. He knew he screwed up and that he never should have let his feelings control his actions. But he didn’t know how to take things back to what they had been before.  
  
And that day they had met for the first time in a while. Erik didn’t want to stay alone with Charles, so he decided he’d take him on a friend’s party. He really regretted that now.  
  
Charles was trying to look Erik into eyes. He stopped smiling now and was breathing heavily.  
  
“Charles-” whispered Erik, trying to give a warning not only to Charles, but to himself as well.  
  
But it was too late. Charles moved a bit closer and put his lips on Erik’s.  
  
For few seconds the whole world didn’t exist. Erik closed his eyes and put his hand on Charles’ neck, when the latter one deepened the kiss.  
  
Erik didn’t want it to stop. He didn’t want to be the one to do the right thing, he wasn’t the one who’d do the right thing. But a part of him feared that if he’d let this happen this way, he would loose Charles forever.  
  
“No, Charles,” he said, pushing him away, maybe a little less subtly than he wanted to. “Not like that.”  
  
Erik couldn’t catch a proper breath; he felt as if he’d forgotten how to do such a basic thing as breathing. He stood up, wanting to increase the distance between him and Charles.  
  
“Why?” asked Charles, who could barely focus his eyes on Erik.  
  
_That’s why_, thought Erik. But he was sure that if he’d told Charles he was drunk, he’d definitely argue about that.  
  
“What about Moira?” he asked instead, with his voice breaking a little.  
  
Charles looked away. “She’s not the one that I want.”  
  
“You’re not thinking clear-”  
  
“I’ve been thinking about it the whole summer, Erik. I’m falling in love with you.”  
  
Erik shook his head. He didn’t want to believe in that, he didn’t want his heart to believe in that.  
  
He felt a single tear going down his face.  
  
“Don’t.” His voice was shaking a little and he hated it. “It can never happen, Charles.”  
  
At least that was what he wanted to believe, what he _had to_ believe so that he wouldn’t break down.  
  
He wished he hadn’t been drinking that night. He wish he’d watched over Charles better. He wished they were both sober and could actually talk about that. Because he knew they wouldn’t come back to this conversation in the morning. Not in the full light, where they both wouldn’t be able to hide anything and would have to open their hearts for being broken.  
  
They weren’t ready for that. He wasn’t. And he didn’t know if he ever would.  
  
Charles’d been looking at him all this time. And it was making him feel the way he didn’t want to feel.  
  
“Get some sleep, Charles.”  
  
He knew his friend wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning. And that he wouldn’t tell him. Some things were meant to be left in the darkness of the night.  
  
He was watching Charles falling asleep, thinking about what it would be like if some things were a little different.


	6. chapter six.

It was one of the moments in Charles’ life when he really wished he didn’t have a sister.

He’d been hearing Raven and Erik’s voices and laughs for the whole evening, but now — he was sure of that — they were kissing and that was just about too much for him. He heard them from the next room and even though he really tried not to care, he couldn’t. And he just couldn’t help being angry and annoyed.

Things had been like that the whole summer and Charles just couldn’t stand it anymore. He had really bad experience with spending time with these two, so he’d been mostly hiding in his room whenever Erik’d been visiting their house. And he’d been visiting their house every day of that summer.

To be honest, Charles was really glad the holidays were ending. He was going to go away for college the next day and leave all this behind. And it wasn’t only about his sister dating his best friend. It was also about the whole situation in their home. Mrs. Xavier, who couldn’t tolerate Erik even when he was just her son’s friend, was treating him like her biggest enemy now. As though the closer he got to the family, the more she hated him.

Charles tried not to get involved in all the arguments between Raven and their mother, but it wasn’t easy. And it was definitely very tiring, especially since they both felt the strange need to bring him into every fight they had.

Charles heard footsteps in the corridor. He was sure it was his sister approaching, along with some troubles. He looked at the door, where Raven appeared after a while. “Hey, wanna watch a movie with us?”

He didn’t even get a chance to answer, when Erik joined Raven, stopping probably closer to her than he had to. “Don’t break my heart saying no, Xavier.”

They looked happy.

Charles had to admit that — Erik’d never seemed as cheerful before and his sister was just radiating happiness. And he’d tried to be happy for them, too, he really did. But it all just hurt him a bit more than he wanted to acknowledge.

Charles, as smart as he was, had no idea what had happened between him and Erik, even though he’d spent many nights thinking about it. He knew it couldn’t have been as easy as just growing apart — they’d been too close before. For some time he’d believed there’d been some deeper feelings involved. He’d been even trying to figure out if he had some feelings like those himself. But ever since Erik’d started dating Raven, it didn’t seem probable anymore.

He saw no other option than letting go. And going away for college was a great opportunity to do just that.

“I can’t,” he said. “I’m busy.”

“Okay then,” said Raven, looking at Erik. “I’ll go get something to eat for us. Be right back.”

Raven gave Erik a short kiss and disappeared in the corridor. Charles immediately looked away, pretending he’d been busy reading something in one of the books on his desk. Erik put his hands into pockets and entered the room, looking around. He hadn’t been here for some time and a lot of things had changed since then.

“I suppose you’re excited. About going away,” said Erik. Charles looked at him, noticing he seemed to be a little nervous.

“Yeah, I am.”

Erik shook his head and walked around the room in silence. Charles watched his every move till he finally sat on the bed. Neither of them said anything for some time. They could have been sitting like that for just few seconds, few hours or maybe forever. Charles couldn’t really say.

“I’m working tomorrow, so I can’t come to say goodbye to you,” said Erik eventually. Charles didn’t answer. “Listen, I know things hadn’t really been great between us lately, but I… I’m-“

Charles was pretty sure that for a while he saw tears in Erik’s eyes. But he said to himself that it had to be just his imagination.

“Erik, are you coming?” They heard Raven’s voice, as she came back.

Erik stood up and cleared his throat. Suddenly something was changed about his face.

“Anyway,” he said, leaving the room. “Goodbye, old friend.”

“Goodbye, Erik.”


	7. chapter seven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so they’re fighting. again.

“She won’t listen to me,” said Charles.

“But maybe you could try talking to _him_.”

Charles could hear the desperation in his mother’s voice. He knew he should feel the same as she did and that he should worry more. But the truth was, he knew Erik would never intentionally do anything to hurt Raven. He trusted she was safe. And he knew that even though Erik lived a really reckless life these days, he’d never put Raven in any danger.

But he was worried about her. About what she wanted and about her decisions. He knew that Erik wouldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to, but could have big influence on her and Charles also feared he wouldn’t tell her no if she was the one to come up with something.

He also understood his mother. She hated Erik from the very beginning, didn’t trust him and even thought he made Raven go away with him. She kept saying that _that Lehnsherr boy_ would ruin her daughter’s life. And sometimes, when Charles allowed himself to think about it, he feared she was more right than he wanted to admit.

“He won’t- We haven’t really talked for some time.”

For over a year now.

Ever since Charles’d left for college. They’d met when Charles’d come home during Christmas break, but they didn’t even say a word to each other. It was all over. They’d become strangers, a long time before either one of them wanted to admit that.

“She is your sister, Charles. And she _is_ your responsibility.”

Charles closed his eyes. His mum’d been calling him at least twice a day ever since Raven took off, as if he could miraculously bring her home. And he had enough of having the same conversation over and over again.

“Okay, mum, I can’t promise you that’ll help, but I’ll try.”

He hung up, with no actual intention of doing anything. But then, for no reason, he found Erik’s number in his phone and just stared at it for few seconds. It was all so stupid. Why would he be afraid of calling him? Why wouldn’t he check how his younger sister had been doing?

“Fuck it,” he said, picking the number. The seconds that followed seemed to be the longest in his entire life.

Finally Erik picked up. “Charles?”

He took a deep breath. Hearing Erik saying his name after all this time woke up some emotions he didn’t know he still had.

“Hello, Erik.” He felt like an idiot. He didn’t think it through, he didn’t think about it at all and he had no idea what to say.

“It’s been some time.”

“How is she?” he asked, trying to remember why he called in the first place. There was a short moment of silence and then Erik cleared his throat.

“She’s good.”

“Can I… Can I talk to her?”

“If she wanted to talk to you, she’d pick up her phone.”

And she hadn’t been picking it up for months. Charles wasn’t sure if it was because she was mad at him or because she thought he’d repeat everything to their mother. But it hurt him — knowing that she didn’t trust him enough to even talk to him.

“Could you tell her-”

“No, Charles, I can’t. I won’t.” He heard anger in Erik’s voice and he knew there was no point fighting.

“I’m not your enemy, Erik. I’m just worried about my sister.”

“I told you she’s good. And you’re all worried just because for the first time in her life, she makes her own choices. For the first time you can’t control her.”

It hurt. “You think I wanna control her?”

It hurt also because Charles couldn’t bear the thought that Raven would choose not to talk to him, not to see him again. They had their differences, but she was his sister. It hurt him to think that she didn’t realize how much he cared about her.

“You think you know what’s best for her. But-”

“No, Erik. _You_ won’t be the one to tell what’s best for Raven.” Charles felt this overwhelming anger that only Erik could ever cause. He felt that he was losing control over what he was saying.

“She can do it herself.”

“And you would be that what’s best for her? You just got inside her head, you made her leave her home, her family-”

“I didn’t make her do anything.” Erik raised his voice.

Charles tried to calm his breath and his heart, but the anger running through his vains wouldn’t stop.

“Just let me talk to her.”

“If she chooses to talk to you _ever_ again, she’ll give you a call.”

“Erik…”

“Goodbye, Charles.”


	8. chapter eight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No, Erik. I forbid you.”

Charles couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard Raven’s voice. It had to be over a year since they’d seen each other and it just hit him that her voice sounded so strange, so unfamiliar. For some reason he kept thinking about it on his way to the hospital and then in the waiting room, before he finally saw her.

She seemed really skinny and much older than he remembered. She didn’t look like a teenager anymore. And only in that moment he realized how much he’d missed her, how much he’d wanted to see her again.

She smiled at him, when he sat next to her bed. “It’s good to see you, big brother.”

“If only the circumstances were different.” He tried to look her in the eyes, but she turned her head away. “What happened, Raven?”

He noticed tears going down her face and wanted to do something to comfort her, but he knew he had to hear it first. She had to tell him first in order to even think about leaving it behind.

“I might have done something stupid,” she said, still not looking at him. “But before I tell you, you need to know that _he_ warned me not to do it.”

Charles closed his eyes, struggling with taking another breath. Up to this moment, he‘d been trying not to think about Erik. He really wanted to remain calm, he knew his sister needed him and that was the most important.

“What happened?” he repeated, pushing away all the thoughts about Erik.

“You remember when we were children and mum would tell us not to take anything to eat from strangers?” she said with her voice shaking a little. “I guess it’s even more relevant when the stranger is a drug dealer.”

“Raven-“

“I didn’t know what was happening, but it felt like dying, Charles. I felt that I was dying. I started panicking, but only in my mind, because it felt as I couldn’t control my body. I really thought I’d die. And the thought that I’d die with you hating me made me feel terrified.”

She was openly crying now. Charles felt tears gathering in his eyes as well, when he sat on Raven’s bed and hugged her. She was sobbing and shaking in his arms.

“I don’t hate you, Raven. I could never hate you.”

He knew he screwed up. She was his little sister and he hadn’t fought for her, he hadn’t tried to save her, he’d just let her go. He blamed himself. And he blamed Erik. He felt that if he’d seen him now, he could kill him with his bare hands.

He kissed Raven’s hair. He didn’t know how long they’d been like that, but she slowly started to calm down and finally looked him in the face.

“I love you, brother. And I’m so sorry for everything.”

“It’s alright.”

He should have protected her. And he should have never trusted Erik.

“Raven, I should call mum,” he said after a while.

“No, she will- She won’t understand.”

“She should know you’re fine.”

When Charles looked at Raven now, for a while he only saw his younger sister again. He saw them as children again, always fighting and always making up by the end of the day. He could hear her laugh again, her footsteps on the stairs, when they were running around the house. For a very long time she was his closest friend. And he failed her. He somehow always failed those closest to him.

“I can’t go back there, Charles.” Raven looked at her hands. He suddenly felt this urge to protect her from all the world outside.

“You could live with me,” he said and a subtle smiled appeared on the girl’s face. “I’ll go call mum now, okay?”

She didn’t protest anymore, when he left the room. He took a deep breath, trying to get his head around everything that had happened. He was just about to take his phone, when he noticed _someone_, waiting at the other side of the corridor.

It was like seeing a ghost from the past.

“Charles.”

He didn’t even think about it, he didn’t even know when he got closer to the man, but before he could realize what he was doing, he punched Erik right in the face. And it felt good. It felt like finally letting of some really old feelings.

Erik lost his balance, but before he could react in any way, Charles pushed him against the wall, grabbing the front of his shirt in fists.

He didn’t care about all the people around them. He couldn’t even care when a nurse started calling the security staff.

“You will get out of her life,” his voice was so cold, he couldn’t even recognize it himself “and never come back.”

“You can’t forbid her.”

“No, Erik.” Charles took a step back, letting him go. He was breathing heavily and could hear his heart beating as crazy in his chest. “I forbid _you_.”

He went back to Raven’s room, feeling that this time his past would finally stop following him. Feeling that he could finally let go and start over. But he couldn’t be more wrong.


	9. chapter nine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We need to do this, Raven. Forget him, let him go. We can’t change him.”

“What is it, Raven?” Charles sighed, putting away the book he’d been reading.

“What?” She bit her lip, looking away. She’d been staring at him for at least ten minutes now, which made him sure she wanted to talk about something.

“Just say whatever it is you wanna say.”

“I’m not sure you want to hear it.”

She could be really annoying is she wanted to. Charles had learned it the hard way. He sat on his chair more comfortably and came back to his book, waiting for the girl to speak. He knew she’d eventually tell him, no matter what he did.

“It’s about Erik.”

Charles closed the book and looked at Raven. It’d been a really long time since either of them mentioned this name. It was kind of an unspoken agreement between them, an agreement which Raven had just broken.

“What about him?” Charles did his best so that his voice wouldn’t shake.

“I know you don’t want to talk about him, but I think it’s about time. I have no idea what happened between you two. But if it’s only about me, you should let it go, Charles.”

Charles closed his eyes, trying to swallow tears. He didn’t want to have this conversation — he couldn’t have it. When, after a while, he looked at Raven again, she was still just staring at him.

“You’re right, Raven. I don’t want to talk about him.”

He took his things and headed towards door, but Raven stood up and stopped him. He saw real stubbornness on her face and determination in her eyes.

He felt like a child that is trying to escape a lecture from one of its parents.

“I know you miss him, Charles,” she said, slowly. “And I know he misses you.”

“How? How do you know that, Raven?” She looked down, realizing what she’d said. “Have you been contacting him?”

Charles felt as if the silence could crush him. He took a step back and rubbed his face with his hand. He already knew the answer and Raven had to realize that, but she was still hesitating.

“Have you?” asked Charles again, wanting her to admit that. A little part of him still hoped the answer would be negative.

“Yeah,” said Raven finally. “I can’t just pretend I never cared. I can’t just never think about him again. And neither can you.”

She was right. Though Charles had really tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about Erik. He kept telling himself it was really stupid — holding on to something that had ended years ago, something that existed only in the past. Or never existed at all.

“I need- _We_ need to do this, Raven. Forget him, let him go. We can’t change him. And the way he is, he’s only gonna hurt us.”

“So that’s what you’re afraid of? Getting hurt?”

“I know him too well, Raven. To well to risk all my life for him. You did and I think we both remember how it ended.”

“He’s not living the perfect life that you’re so used to, Charles, that’s true. But he’s doing his best. And you just decided to give up on him. Maybe he was right. Maybe you do believe you’re better.”

“You sound just like him.”

There were nights, there were moments when Charles wished he could forget. Lose every memory of the man he once called his best friend. Not only because remembering hurt, but because it kept him from moving on, from really living his life. As if he was stuck in the past, with a ghost of the person he _loved_.

Raven sat on the couch again, taking some deep breaths. Charles cleared his throat and looked at the street outside the window. It’d been raining for past two weeks and every time Raven had been going out, Charles felt trapped in his flat, with his thoughts as only companions.

“I don’t think I’m better than him, Raven. I just see how different we are. I see that we can never... be anything for each other again.”

He really believed his words. That’s why he hadn’t been looking for a way to contact Erik, even though he really wanted to. He believed their personalities were too different — and had been like that for years.

“He’s been doing pretty good lately,” said Raven quietly, answering the question Charles was afraid to ask. “He has a real job. And he’s having a child.”

Charles didn’t say anything — neither of them did for some time. Charles sat down again and opened his book, but couldn’t focus on words anymore, so he was just staring at the page.

“You don’t have to be... whoever you are afraid to be for him, Charles,” said Raven again. “But don’t forget him. Don’t act like you’ve never cared for him.”

Charles couldn’t stop the damn tears anymore, so he just let them flow. And he finally let himself feel things he’d been trying to fight for so long.


	10. chapter ten.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It felt right.”

“We’re closed.”

“I’m looking for an old friend.”

Erik looked up. He would recognize this voice everywhere, even though it’d been a long time since he’d last heard it. But seeing Charles Xavier standing at the pub’s entrance seemed just too unrealistic to him. Well, to be honest, he’d been thinking about this moment many times — moment when he’d meet Charles again, when he could make things right again. But he’d never believed it’d actually happen. And now, when the moment came, he was just staring at Charles, probably longer that it’d be natural. Finally he shook his head and cleared his throat.

“It’s fine, Maddie,” he said to the girl, who had been waiting for his reaction. “I’ll close everything later.”

He couldn’t take his eyes off Charles. Erik felt at heart as if it’d been ages since he last saw him, but he hadn’t changed much. He looked a bit more mature now, but his eyes were still sparkling in the same way.

“Alright,” said Maddie, slowly leaving the place. When the door closed after her, Charles headed to the bar, where Erik’d been standing and sat right in front of him.

All the things Erik had wanted to say, to ask, flashed through his mind, but they disappeared before he could hold on to any of them. Nothing really seemed like a right think to say.

“You want something to drink?” asked Erik eventually. “Whiskey?”

Charles just bobbed his head in response. Erik’s hand was shaking when he reached for the glass. He clenched and unclenched it few times, trying to control it. He felt Charles’ eyes following his every move, but he couldn’t make himself to look at the man, not until he moved the glass closer to him. Their eyes met for a short moment, before Xavier turned his head away. 

“Thanks,” said Charles, though he didn’t even touch the glass.

Erik took a deep breath. He couldn’t bear the silence, so he desperately tried to look for words. He knew it could be their only chance, their _last_ chance to make things right. And he was terrified he’d screw everything up.

When he looked at Charles once, he just couldn’t look away again. His heart was beating so fast, he was sure it’d jump out of his chest any second.

“Charles, I-“

“I’m sorry, Erik.” When Charles looked at him, Erik noticed tears in his eyes. He lost his breath for few seconds. “I’m sorry for... well, everything, actually. And it’s a lot of things, isn’t it?”

Charles took a sip of whiskey and looked down. His fingers were moving on the glass. Erik had to admit all he wanted to do was hug Charles. Damn it, he would give anything to be able to do that. But he just ignored all the desires of his heart. Like he always had.

“And what are these things, Charles?” He didn’t mean to sound so harsh. Maybe his heart had been hurt more than he’d ever wanted to admit and maybe that was its way of reacting to that. Hurting the people he cared about.

He was glad to see that Charles didn’t get mad. Instead, he looked really sad.

“Pushing you away, to start with. Letting you push me away. Leaving our friendship behind. Not trying hard enough. Hitting you.” He stopped for a while.

Erik knew he’d really meant it all. That he really regretted all the bad things that had happened between them. Erik asked himself if he can forgive him, but he found it in his heart that he had already forgiven Charles for everything. Maybe he’d never even blamed him for anything. Maybe he knew from the beginning that it’d all been his fault.

“I could go on,” continued Charles. “But we both know what happened.”

Erik reached for another glass and poured some alcohol into it. Then he drank it all, trying to numb his feelings a little. He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to hold them all — all the memories, all the pain from the past that he’d been pushing away for so long. It finally got him. And it might have been a little too much.

“Look at this,” Erik smiled, putting the glass away. “Charles Xavier admitting he’d screwed up and apologizing. Something I never thought I’d witness.”

Charles smiled too. “Shut up.”

“Maybe next time try to take less than two years to come and apologize,” Erik kept teasing him.

“It’s really been two years?”

_Felt like forever_, thought Erik.

Charles drank everything that was left in his glass. “I really missed you, Erik.”

It felt good. Talking to Charles again, laughing with him. It felt right.

Erik refilled their glasses and looked at Charles with a smile — his first honest smile in a really long time.

“I missed you, too, old friend.”


	11. part eleven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You once told me that it had to be all or nothing.”

Erik had never imagined he’d get married. It just wasn’t for him — taking an oath to be with someone, to love someone for the rest of his life.

Yet there he was, planning his own wedding. It wasn’t clear for him how they got to this point, but he was pretty sure if he was to ever marry any woman, it had to be Maddy.

He believed she was the only woman who could handle his character in the long run. Well, maybe the only woman except of Raven. But that was another story.

He’d been playing with Peter, when he heard his ringtone. He got up and went looking for the phone. His son immediately started crying, when left alone, but Erik didn’t hear him anymore — he saw two messages from Charles, saying he needed to see him as soon as possible.

“Maddy?” he said loudly, looking at his son. “Can you look at Peter for some time?”

“I’m pretty busy here, Erik.”

“Thanks,” he said, completely ignoring her words and leaving their flat.

He went outside and met Charles standing right next to the entrance. It was already getting dark and Xavier’s eyes were sparkling in this familiar way, which Erik’d always liked.

“Hey, is everything fine?” He was really worried. He knew from Raven that Charles’d been acting kinda weird lately and probably drinking more than he should, but refused to talk about it — at least until now.

Charles shook his head. “Can we walk for a while?”

The next few minutes passed without either of them saying anything. Erik tried not to stare at Charles too much, but he couldn’t help. He hoped to see something in his friend’s face, but he was just looking away every time time their eyes met.

They’d been in a really good place with their relationship lately. They’d been talking on phone a lot, meeting every time Charles’d come home from college and avoiding any conversations about past. And it worked. It felt like the good old times when they‘d been teenagers hanging out together.

“Aren’t you afraid, Erik?” asked Charles suddenly. “Aren’t you afraid that Peter’s gonna look up to you for the rest of your life?”

Erik hesitated. It was a strange question, he had to admit. He took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one of them.

“Of course I am,” he said, after some time. “Why are you asking?”

Charles stopped and finally looked Erik in the face. “I’m gonna have a child, Erik. Moira’s pregnant.”

Erik had no idea what to say. “Moira? The same Moira you used to date when we were kids?”

Charles rubbed his face with his hand, taking a deep breath. He looked really relieved, telling someone about it. As if he’d been shouldering this burden for too long.

“Yeah. We’ve met again some time ago. You can guess what happened.”

Erik tried to wrap his head around it. He thought about what he’d felt when he‘d first found out he was going to be a father. He’d been really lost. And angry, but that part he wasn’t really proud of.

He didn’t have much in common with Peter’s mother — he didn’t love her for sure, not even for a while. And he didn’t know how he’d do if he hadn’t met Maddy. She changed so much in his life and helped him a lot.

But those first weeks after he’d found out and then first weeks after Peter’d been born, had been terrifying and exhausting. When he looked into Charles’ eyes now, he saw the same feelings that he’d felt.

“Are you two together?” he asked, still not sure what he should say or do.

“Kinda. I think.” Charles started walking again, so Erik followed him. “These last weeks’ve been really weird. She’s been talking about getting married.”

“And do you want that?”

Charles hesitated. He stopped again, putting his hands into pockets of his jeans. Erik tried to come up with something right to say, something that’d make his friend feel a little bit better. He knew very well that having a child or getting married at this age had never been a part of Charles’ plan for life.

“I don’t know what I want.”

The way Charles looked at him suddenly changed. Erik’s heart skipped a beat and he couldn’t control his thoughts anymore.

“And you came to me to figure it out?

Erik couldn’t understand any of it. He tried to think about Maddy and Peter who’d been waiting for him at home. But he couldn’t care about them right now. All that mattered was Charles, standing in front of him.

“Maybe.”

Charles took a step and suddenly they got really close to each other. Erik held his breath. Everything disappeared from his head. He closed his eyes when Charles moved slowly and their lips touched.

Erik felt that as if his heart found a rhythm for the first time in years. And then as if it was about to break, when he stopped the kiss and took a step back.

The past that they hadn’t been talking about for so long suddenly caught up with them. The truth was, neither of them could ever forget — no matter how much they’d move on with their lives.

Charles looked as if he was about to burst into tears. He looked broken. Erik had to turn his head away.

“You once told me that it had to be all or nothing,” said Charles, slowly. “What if I told you the same now?”

Erik wanted to leave it all, throw all his life away and give it a try. But he wasn’t a teenager anymore. He was getting married next month. He had a son. _Aren’t you afraid that Peter’s gonna look up to you for the rest of your life?_ And he was. He was terrified of that.

He couldn’t give up his life just to get his heart broken by Charles Xavier one more time. And he knew that was all that’d happen.

He didn’t say anything and after a while it wasn’t necessary to say anything anymore. And when Charles walked away, Erik realized his heart’d got broken again anyway.


	12. chapter twelve.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “For a really long time I didn’t know, too.”

“I can’t believe I actually own this place now,” said Charles, looking around the mansion.

“You always knew it’d be yours one day.” Raven smiled with a little bit of sadness in her eyes.

She was right. But for Charles _one day_ always seemed as a really distant future, something that would happen in another life. Yet there he was, standing inside of the house he grew up in. And it was all his.

“You could move in here. Get like ten more children to bring some life to this place,” said Raven and Charles smiled.

He looked at Moira, who’d been walking around the room with David in her arms, showing the boy some old photographs of Charles and Raven as children. He tried to imagine this — getting married with Moira, having another child or two. But for some reason he couldn’t. He didn’t see their life, their future together and even though he felt terribly bad about it, he couldn’t help it.

“I have a plan for this place,” he said. “And it does involve kids, but not mine.”

He’d been thinking about opening a private school for kids who find it hard to fit into society. And he was sure that’s what he wanted to do, he was sure that was the right thing to do. But he knew that before this could happen, he needed to get his degree and put a lot of work into this project. So he was going to leave the mansion closed and abandoned for the nearest years. He’d also already offered Raven to move in, but she’d said she’d rather kill herself than live in this house ever again. And he understood her very well.

“Sounds intriguing,” said Raven.

Charles watched Moira leaving the room, still talking to David. He wished they could make him happy. He wished he could make them happy. But life just wasn’t that easy.

“Have you heard from Erik lately?” asked Raven, as if she’d been only waiting for Moira to leave her and Charles alone.

“No.”

Erik Lehnsherr seemed to be coming back to his life again and again no matter how many times they’d parted. These last few months Charles’d thought about him as gone forever. He didn’t think it’d ever be possible for them to get on again. Not since it’d become clear what they really felt.

“I don’t get it, Charles. One day you were best friends, I could hear you talk on the phone with him the whole night and the next day you said you wouldn’t even come to his wedding.” Raven stopped, trying to catch Charles’ eye. “What happened?”

_Everything_.

He wanted to understand this, so that he could put it into words. He wanted to be able to describe all those feelings, fears and desires that neither him or Erik could control. He wanted to tell Raven that after they acknowledged their feelings — even if not to each other, not really, but to themselves — they couldn’t be friends anymore.

But he couldn’t say a word.

“What could possibly happen between you two that you refuse to talk about him _again_?” asked Raven.

Charles was tired. He’d been tired of this for years now. Tired of pretending and running away from all this. Tired of hiding his feelings. He looked into his broken heart and found what he needed to open up to his sister.

“It’s rather what didn’t happen,” he said slowly. “What could never happen and what we’ve both wanted ever since we were kids.”

Raven seemed confused, but her voice was quiet and soft. “What are you talking about, Charles?”

It’d been so long. So many years, so many sleepless nights. So many laughs and so many fights between them. So many heartbreaks. It took Charles too long to realize.

“Don’t you know, Raven?” He looked at her with tears in his eyes. And then something changed, as if for the first time he let her see the truth. As if for the first time he let himself show the truth.

“Oh my God,” whispered Raven, as it all suddenly became clear to her. “You _love_ him.”

It felt as if someone stabbed him in the heart. There it was. The truth he’d been hiding and fighting for so many years. Spoken out loud it became too painful, too overwhelming.

“I tried, Raven,” said Charles, when tears started going down his face. “I tried to deal with it in so many ways. But forgetting him and letting him go seems to be the only one which will let me survive.”

They both had families now. They both had their lives, in which there was no place for their feelings for each other. He had to make peace with the past. And although it wasn’t easy, he had to let go.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know.” She touched his arm carefully and when he didn’t protest, she hugged him.

There he was again. In this house, in this place where it all had started. He remembered the day he’d first met Erik as well as if it‘d been yesterday. He remembered that he’d come back home that day with a feeling that his life was about to change. 

“It’s fine,” he said, hiding his face in Raven’s hair. “For a really long time I didn’t know, too.”


	13. chapter thirteen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You told me that I wouldn’t be alone anymore.”

Charles felt almost like a teenager again. He hadn’t been this nervous in a really long time but now, standing in front of Erik once again, his hands were shaking uncontrollably. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breath. And not only because of his feelings — also because he could barely recognize his friend.

Erik looked really unwell. As if he was going to die, Charles would say. He got skinny — too skinny — and pale. His eyes lost this light that was there as long as Charles could remember. And that was probably the biggest of all differences, or at least the one that made the biggest impact on Charles.

Erik looked as a person who’d forgotten how to smile, how to breath, how to live.

And Charles understood that. Or at least he thought he did. Now, that he was a father too, he couldn’t imagine losing a child. He couldn’t imagine he could ever come back to his life again after something like that.

When he’d first heard from Raven that Erik’s daughter had died and he’d been getting divorced, he thought that he’d totally screwed things up. He should have been there, with Erik, he should have supported him through it all. And now, when he was looking at his friend, the guilt came back, twice as strong.

“Don’t tell me everything’s fine,” said Charles, referring to first words Erik’d said to him when he came to his flat. “I can see it’s not.”

Erik didn’t look at him, lighting up a cigarette. Another a moment of silence passed when Charles was trying to find words. “Just talk to me, Erik. I can help you.”

“I don’t need your help.” Erik’s voice was harsh enough to make Charles hesitate whether he should continue to talk or just leave and never come back.

“I talked to Raven. I know you-“

“You don’t know anything.” Erik was talking really fast, raising his voice a little with every word. “You don’t know what it’s like to listen to your child breathing, knowing that every breath she takes can be her last. You don’t know what’s it like to-“ He stopped suddenly and closed his eyes. Charles noticed few tears going down Erik’s face and felt as if his heart was dying. He couldn’t handle this and the feeling of guilt was getting overwhelming.

Charles slowly got closer and sat next to Erik. He wanted to touch him, hug him, but his hands wouldn’t move. They were too heavy.

“Do you remember,” whispered Erik. “What you told me the first time we’ve met?”

Of course Charles remembered. He remembered every single moment he’d spent with Erik, every second of their friendship, every word, every touch. He remembered that all and that was what kept him awake at night, that was what made him unable to move on with his life.

That was the reason why he couldn’t really be with Moira, why he couldn’t give her and their child what they wanted and needed from him. Because he couldn’t forget Erik, he couldn’t leave him in the past.

“You told me that I wouldn’t be alone anymore.” Erik looked into Charles’ eyes. “And for so many years I believed it. But these last few months... I’ve never been so alone.”

Charles realized that he was crying, too. “I’m so sorry, Erik.”

He couldn’t even begin to explain how sorry he was. He knew he should have been there for Erik when he needed him the most, but he failed. And he knew he would never forgive himself.

Erik’d stopped smoking a while ago and now he was nervously turning another cigarette around in his fingers. Finally he put it away and then looked away. Charles was just watching his every move, afraid to do anything else. He thought that Erik’d tell him to go away, that he wouldn’t want to see him again. And he was trying to prepare himself for the pain it’d bring him. He knew he needed to be strong enough to at least leave the flat and get to his car without falling apart. But he wasn’t sure he’d be able to do that.

But then, after few minutes of silence Erik finally looked at him again. And there was something changed in his eyes, when he moved closer and, with one more short moment of hesitation, he kissed Charles. And that was it. That was what brought the world back together.

Charles touched Erik’s face and felt tears under his fingers. He knew it wasn’t the right moment. He knew it shouldn’t be happening like that — he didn’t want it to happen like that. Not when Erik was so broken, when Charles was still with Moira. Not when he didn’t know if it meant anything.

But he couldn’t stop the desire to never be away from Erik again, the need to keep him close. Charles opened his mouth a little, allowing Erik to deepen the kiss. It felt so right, the feeling surprised him. That was what he‘d looking for his whole life. And what he’d been running away from his whole life.

“Erik,” he whispered, when Erik stopped kissing him for a second to catch a breath.

“No. Don’t do this again, Charles,” said Erik. “Don’t do this.”

And he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to do that so much it hurt.

Erik started taking Charles’ shirt off, desperate to get what he needed. Charles could see this desperation on his face. The need to get closer, to be with someone.

“Erik.” Charles closed Erik’s hands in his, stopping them from touching his skin. “Maybe we should take it slow. I’ll... I’ll stay with you tonight. We can talk about it...”

Erik moved back slowly and found the cigarette he’d abandoned before. He lighted it up, not looking at Charles for a while. Xavier got scared that he’d ruined it all again — but he knew it was the right thing to do.

“We’re not good at talking about it, are we?” said Erik finally.

Charles put his shirt back and sat straight on the couch. “I remember seeing you for the first time as well as if that happened yesterday, Erik. And God, I’ve... I’ve loved you my whole life.”

Erik looked at him with something in his eyes that Charles’d never seen before. And that was perhaps the first time in their relationship when neither of them hid anything from the other. And that was the start of something new, something beautiful.

And something that was not meant to last forever.

**Author's Note:**

> english is not my first languague, so i am sorry for any mistakes and stuff. hope you still enjoy it!


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